Dear white people,
When people of color educate you about race, it’s not for you to “get it.” We don’t want you to “get it” because you’re not going to “get” racism because you’ve never actually experienced the structural racism that we have. The point isn’t a false attempt at understanding what you don’t understand, drawing false parallels about that one time you went to Africa and for once felt like a minority. The point is for you to REALIZE that you will never understand. That’s exactly what we want from you when we tell you about discrimination. For you to know that WE are the experts of our own experiences and that you never can be nor can claim to be.
Therefore, you need to take us at face value when we tell you about our experiences. You need to listen to us when we tell you ways to end racism. Don’t assume you already know. Because that was the main justification of colonialism when you think about it. That white people know more than black and brown people about the very conditions in which black and brown people exist. This benign paternalism was really just justification for actually being pretty freakin’ racist. Even today, the results of white people claiming to “get” racism for me have been the widespread denial by many whites that discrimination or systemic racism even exist because since they “get” what racism actually looks like, if they don’t see racism or understand it, it must not be happening. Mind you, this is to the COMPLETE disregard of the ACTUALLY LIVED EXPERIENCES of black and brown people.
Whites claim to “get” racism (or worse, they claim to be “color-blind) but are completely unaware of (or uninterested in) the massive economic inequality between people of different races, mass incarceration rates that are completely racially skewed, and the continued marginalization of minority populations through subpar public education, gentrification, police brutality, lack of media representation, and daily microaggressions.
Yeah, y’all “get it,” alright.
So, what should you do instead of trying to “get it?” Well, you can try actually shutting up and listening. That’s a thought. Listen. Because many times that’s all people who have been silenced want, a space to finally be heard. Second of all, embrace the discomfort. I know it’s really hard, white people, to not be the center of a situation when no one is addressing you, but just know that that’s how marginalized people feel all the time, hence the term “marginalized.” But also keep in mind, that your discomfort in these rare situations DOES NOT mean you get marginalization. You still don’t “get it.” Don’t forget that. And finally, actually show up for us. That means being in solidarity with our struggle. Not co-opting, not re-colonizing, not “saving us from ourselves” but working to further our goals and spreading our message and amplifying our voices.
White allies, that’s all we want from you: 1) understand that you will never get racism 2) listen to what people of color have to say 3) embrace a space that is not about you and 4) be in solidarity with us to further our goals.
